In September of 1998, I had Lasik Surgery to correct my astigmatism (nearsightedness).  I found out later that I should never have had it, because of my connective tissue disease. 

Keep in mind that this story was written (and my surgery was done) when Lasik surgery was still considered experimental.  It was  several years ago; so the procedure may be different and/or much safer now ( HOPE).  I recommend that you talk to a reputable doctor if you're considering this procedure, and be aware of possible complications.

 LASIK stands for Laser in-situ (or something)  Kera-something or other, I can't remember; but for me it spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E!  I don't want to discourage anyone from having this procedure, but anyone with a pre-existing illness should be aware of all the possible drawbacks, so they can make an informed decision.  And first and foremost, I recommend finding a good doctor!   *See information at bottom of page concerning Dr. Robert Mack in the Chicago area *

LASIK is not the "traditional" RK procedure where they cut slits in your eyeball.  The surgeon uses a micro-keratome (world's smallest buzz saw) to cut a flap in your cornea.   He lifts the flap out of the way, then blasts the exposed surface with an ultraviolet laser.  Then he puts the flap back down and spins his prayer wheel.  If everything works out, the cornea reshapes itself to focus light more precisely on your retina.  (There are better explanations on web sites like The American Eye Institute.)  If this description sends you reeling for the barf bag, stick with glasses.  I was pretty much a nerves-of-steel type on the Squeamish Spectrum BEFORE my LASIK surgery.  My experience changed that.  Now I'm petrified when it comes to anything related to my eyes.  Just sitting in the doctor's chair to take a vision test makes me perspire profusely now because it causes flash backs of excruciating pain and terror.

LASIK costs about $2500 PER EYE when performed by a good, reputable doctor (like Robert Mack).  Insurance doesn't cover it.   That price tag was about as accessible to me as a personal dirigible, so I thought I was lucky to find a doctor who did both eyes for only $1000.  

I went to Chicago - about 350 miles from my home in northern Wisconsin -- to a clinic that had been recommended by several people.  The clinic turned out to be in a little strip mall!  This should have sent up a red flag right away; but all I could think of was all that money I was saving.  Yes, I was naive -- or should I say stupid?   When I discovered that no one in the office spoke fluent English except the doctor, I should have hit the road; but  I went ahead with the surgery anyway, because my brother had the procedure done there a few weeks earlier with no complications, no hassles, and no glasses afterward.  In fact, he had better than 20/20 vision after his surgery.    

I did not realize that my medical condition had any bearing on the outcome of the surgery. I have mixed connective tissue disease, a disorder which causes muscle and joint pain fatigue, migraines, and various other fun stuff.  I was uninformed at that time and had no idea that an inflammation-causing illness would affect my eyes or the healing process.  

I filled out the usual forms including a medical history.  I don't know whether the doctor even looked at the forms.  He didn't mention any possible problems caused by pre-existing medical conditions, and he asked me no questions at all about my general health.  He didn't take my blood pressure or check anything else.  I didn't know what was customary, so I didn't question the procedures.  After all, I thought, he's the expert!

I signed a waver saying the doctor was not responsible if I went blind, but he assured me that the chances of complications were almost non-existent and I'd have perfect eyesight when I got out of his chair after the surgery.  He told me I could drive myself home and even stop at the mall to shop after the surgery.  In actuality, I had to be led out of his office by the hand and I couldn't drive or read for many months. 

One thing I wish I would have kept at the forefront of my mind:  "LASIK is an experimental procedure."  That means there is a chance that you will go blind in one or both eyes.  If I would have had the sense to really think about that, I would have stuck with my thick glasses.

Before the surgery, the doctor inserts a "speculum" in your eye to hold open your eyelid, preventing you from blinking.  When he did this to me,  the membrane covering my cornea came off.  OOOOOPS.   That was not supposed to happen!   Oh, well, the doctor said, "No problem."  Of course it was no problem FOR HIM.  He said not to worry about it, so I didn't worry about it.  Silly me.

I was supposed to have 20-20 vision when I left his office.   Didn't happen. I was in horrible pain and could see only a white fog.  My eyes were so sensitive to sunlight, that I wore two pairs of sunglasses . . . a regular pair, then a pair of those big ugly "solar shields" that they give cataract patients.  I put those over the regular glasses and the pain was still pretty bad when I went outside into the light.  In the car, I put a sweatshirt over my face on top of the glasses to block the light. 

I called the clinic about the severe pain and was told to use lots of the eye drops they had given me.  I used the drops every 15 minutes, as directed.  When I called the doctor in the middle of the night because the pain was excruciating and I could only see blackness, he just said to put ice on my eyes, use lots and lots  of the drops, and come in the following day.

When I went in the next day, I did not see the doctor - only an assistant who pulled the pus out of my eyes with tweezers. Need I say that this was very unpleasant (to put it mildly)?  He told me the eye drops "were my friends" (this phrase would haunt me later) and he sent me home.  The next day, when I finally insisted on seeing a REAL  doctor, he immediately sent me to a cornea specialist who gave me several prescriptions, including steroids, and told me that the drops I'd been using were toxic and had made the inflammation worse.

What in the world had gone wrong?   First of all, I found out later that most surgeons  would never have done the procedure on someone with an illness like mine,  because of the risk involved.   Apparently, the surgeon I had was more interested in herding patients through his clinic like cattle and raking in the money than being concerned about what might happen to those unfortunate enough to have conditions that were not conducive to this surgery.  (I learned later that many of his patients needed care from specialists after their surgeries; and many patients sued this surgeon after they went blind.)

Secondly, I learned from other doctors that  if a surgeon were confident enough to risk the surgery on a  patient with my medical history, he should have only done ONE eye at a time,  just  in case something were to go wrong. 

Thirdly, when the membrane over the cornea came off the first eye, that doctor never should have continued with the other eye.  It should have been a signal that something was not right with my eyes to begin with.  Then and there, he should have asked me about my general health and any pre-existing illnesses.   Apparently, he cared more about making money than he cared about my eyes!  So on he went to the second eye.

It really ticked me off  was that  those eye drops he gave me (and which they gave to every patient) contained preservatives that many people are allergic to.  Many people have severe problems when they use those drops.

I should have been more assertive and insisted on seeing the doctor the day after my surgery instead of his assistant; buut, as I said, I was naive and trusting.  

Why am I telling you this long story?   So that others like me might avoid the pain I went through.  

I stayed in Chicago for about six weeks so that I could see a wonderful cornea specialist every day.  

On top of everything else, there was another complication.  I had an "infiltration" underneath one of the flaps.  It looked like a fiber or a hair.  This infiltration occurs in about one out of every 500 patients.  Mathematical thought for the day: a 99.8% success rate is meaningless when you're one of the 0.2%!!!!!

The cornea specialist (Dr. Mack)  had to raise the flap, scrape out the gunk, rinse off the interior surface, and close it up again.  I DID NOT LOOK FORWARD TO THIS PROCEDURE.  Dr. Mack  had to give me a valium prescription so I could be doped up before I even went to his office.  Without that, he would never have gotten me into the chair.  By that time, I didn't want to let anyone NEAR my eyes.  No exaggeration:  that was one of the worst days of my life.  Very scary.  It made childbirth seem like a picnic in the park.

Fortunately, I was in the care of the fabulous Dr. Robert Mack who calmed my fears and gained my trust.  He's a talented doctor and a wonderful person.  I cannot say enough about him, and I thank God for him to this day! 

I lived through that second surgery, but the anticipation was horrendous!  At that point, I would have given just about anything just to have my "old" eyesight back - bad as it was, thick glasses and all.

Thank God,  Dr. Mack gave me strong pain pills.  I slept most of the time for weeks.  My dad took fantastic care of me (and I thank God for him too)!  He woke me up every couple hours  to put drops in my eyes and to give me more pills.  Good thing he kept track of the medication schedule.  I would never have been able to do it myself, in my drugged state because I took so many different pills; and the prescriptions changed every day at first as the doctor tried to hit on the perfect combination to get the inflammation under control.

Family and friends had members of several churches praying for me, across the country and even in other parts of the world.  I'm so grateful for that!   God answers prayer.

One of the happiest days of my life was when I was able to make out three blurry fingers that Dr. Mack held in front of my face.  He was almost as happy as I was.  He gave me a bottle of (non-alcoholic) champagne to celebrate!  

It took months before my vision returned enough so that I could get around well.   I saw double and triple for a long time.  Several doctors since then have told me that they had never seen a case as bad as mine except in text books.  I always wanted to hear that I was one in a million, but not in a situation like that.  To this day, when I go to an eye doctor just for a vision test, they are awed when they look into my eyes.  The doctor always calls in all his associates to see "what some quack did" to my eyes.

I spoke with lawyers about any possible legal recourse I might have, but no attorney would take my case.  They each said I could never win against a doctor and it would cost me at least $50,000.  They told me that if I were to go blind - totally and permanently--then I should come back to see them.  THEN they would take the case, because THEN a jury would feel sorry for me and just maybe I could win!   I'm just grateful that I can see.  (Dozens of patients did file cases against the doctor who did my Lasik surgery, but I have not followed up to learn the outcomes of those law suits.)

My eyes still bother me -- they are red and sore all of the time.  They are very dry, scratchy, and constantly irritated because they can no longer produce the moisture or protective oil that they need.  This is called "rusty eye syndrome."  I must use artificial tears several times throughout the day and night.  I still can't see well in dim lighting.  I can't see details like faces very well, I have a hard time recognizing people across a room or reading small print.  I can't see things on a small TV screen, and I can't read road signs or drive at night.  .  .

But . . .  I  am  grateful for what I CAN see.  When I thought there was a possibility that I would never see my grandson's face again, it was terrifying! 

I have vision, yes; but the quality of that vision is poor.  It's like your television -- you may get a picture that you can see and watch, but the clarity, color, etc. may need fine tuning.  Unfortunately, my sight cannot be "fine tuned."  My sight is like a fuzzy TV picture with "ghosts" and a haze. Headlights and streetlights now have huge starbursts or "haloes" around them, which blind me when I'm driving into oncoming traffic.  Here are some examples of what those look like:

My depth perception is also poor.  Going down stairs can be hazardous because sometimes I can't tell where the steps are.  One doctor told me that my eyes now are like looking through a dirty window covered with bird poop.  That's a good description.  The problem now is that I have scar tissue over my cornea which causes a white haze and blurriness. Some days are better than others.  It depends, I guess on the light source and how dry the air is, how often I've used the eye drops that day, etc.

The  photo below, left is normal - what you probably see.  The one on the right is how I see colors now.  

http://drmack.com/

Check out the website of the doctor who was an answer to my prayers:   Thank you, Dr. Robert Mack  I owe you so much!